The Nature of Hope

It is possible to go on half hoping for something that you know in your heart will not happen, and which in truth, you are not even sure you would wish to. The problem is, that disappointment will inevitably follow. Still, is it not better to hope than not? I am not sure.
This last week has been up and down. Lovely son is out of hospital and safely back in London, where he will remain, more or less bed bound, or at least sofa bound for the next ten days. This is good. He tells me he is using the enforced down time to study. This is VERY good!
Less good, is that I managed to get bitten by a spider at the weekend, and my knee and leg became hideously painfully swollen, necessitating a visit to the out of hours medical clinic, and massive doses of antibiotics.
A spider. Yes really. Who knew spiders could be so toxic? I didn't actually SEE the spider, but the doctor assured me that the bite was a typical spider bite. Anyone else been bitten by a spider? No? Just me then. The swelling has receded and the puncture wounds are healing up. Still, I shall be more wary of spiders now.
My bathroom has been decorated by B, who is not a speedy decorator, but is a thorough one. This is good. Less good is the boring need to have the shower screen replaced, and possibly one of the worktops, as the fitter failed to fit an access panel for the cistern. Which means they will have to come BACK! Grrrr.
Now I am working myself up to have the kitchen done.
My headache, which had started to get better, came back on sunday, with a vengeance. So it is back on the painkillers. I am wondering if the antibiotics have triggered it this time/ But who knows. All I know is it is BACK and I need to find a way of getting rid. I even tried the drugs the Doctor gave me last night, it was so painful. The pain didn't seem to go, but I certainly slept and I felt like a Zombie this morning. Apparently, the same drugs, on a higher dosage, are used as anti depressants. I can't imagine how anyone could function at ALL on the dosage I had, let alone double that! I have a new respect for people on anti depressants. They must be tougher than I am. I was in a daze all morning, after taking them last night, and in fact I still wouldn't fancy driving. It is not an unpleasant feeling, but it is a liitle strange, and I don't think I shall take them again.
Even though it is Easter week, I have a busy few days at work ahead. I need all my braincells to be firing.