I have been a useless blogger lately. In fact I have been useless at most things really. I spend my time doing pointless, mindless, time wasting things and I cannot, really cannot, get round to constructive, positive ones. I think I have been depressed. This state of frozen inertia and unwillingness to do things that would actually make me feel better, sounds like depression to me.
On top of that, I am now on day twelve of being ill. It started with a blinding headache, progressed to laryngitis, leaving me unable speak, at all, for several days, and then went on to a cough and chest infection. I have spent lots of the last twelve days in bed. This has not been all bad. In some ways, being ill has taken the pressure off me. I can lie in bed and do nothing all day without that nagging feeling that I should get up and get dressed. Or Something.
I have had enough of it now. Today, when I have finished this blog entry, I will get up, I will make some effort to clean up my chaotic house, will take the Christmas tree down and will prepare for the New Year.
I would like 2010 to be a better year than 2009. Not that 2009 has been a terrible year. There have been good things as well as bad. But this year I would like to take some control of my life. To stop doing things that I know are not good for me. To try and be a little more sociable. To lighten up and ENJOY things more. To get myself back on track.
I need a plan!
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I am glad to be in bloggy touch with you again but feel upset that you still seem to be so low. I will have to read back and see how the situation with Boy has been.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime I think getting up, putting some lipstick on (it always cheers me up) and some buoyant music will do for starters.
Let's hope 2010 is a better year for you but, even if it is crap, blog about it and let it out.
Being ill for that long sounds terrible! I hope you feel better very soon, both physically and emotionally. (And I hope your Christmas wasn't TOO awful!) Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteIf you have been ill that long you really should have gone to the doctor. Let me know as soon as you are well enough to go out and we can meet for that lunch we had to postpone before Christmas.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a Happier New Year.
Oh, God, you and I sound like exactly the same person. I was ill for about five days just before Christmas, and I was also relieved about it because it meant I could just lie in bed and not feel guilty for not doing anything. I got my wisdom teeth out in late November, and that was the highlight of my year because "MM" pampered me, and I could just relax with no stresses or pressures. Sad, but true.
ReplyDeleteI also waste time doing a lot of pointless shit, mainly on the internet. Looking up stupid shit on Wikipedia. My #1 resolution for 2010 is to stop that.