Nothing to say really....

I have not been blogging recently because it feels like I have nothing to say. Certainly nothing new or interesting. The kitchen saga grinds on.....eventually I will have a shiny new kitchen, but for now I am living with it half done and going slightly crazy, stressing about it all. I don't understand why builders don't get it that I don't want to live in chaos for longer than necessary. Why they can't see that being without water in the kitchen might actually be a problem. Rant. I could rant on. I won't.
I am sad today. Sad most days actually, and this weekend is feeling very lonely. I have been trying lately to stay positive and to make plans so that I don't give myself time to think too much. Plans for the weekend have gone awry however, and I don't have the energy to re plan. And builders must be accommodated, and will insist on coming at awkward times...
I am upset too, because I am only just coming to realise quite how much I still depend upon someone who no longer cares very much for me. It hurts. Next week will be difficult because he wont be around. It frightens me how much I care. Its only a week after all. It's not though really, it's the way it is now going to be from now on because it feels like he is slipping out of my life, slowly but surely and there is nothing I can do about that, nothing at all. I have messed up in so many ways and I don't know how to make my life something I rejoice in any more.