longtime....

Yes I know. Ages in fact. I haven't blogged for all sorts of reasons really. It has been a sad and difficult time. And really, even I am bored with how miserable and depressed I can be on here....so....I haven't blogged. But I DO miss it, so I need to start working this thing out...
First of all.
Update. My most beloved and delightful, adorable friend whom I have known for 30 years,finally succumbed in her heroic fight against cancer which has threatened her for the last 23 years. She died a couple of weeks ago, and the funeral was last monday. I cannot even begin to say how sad this makes me, or describe my loss. And let's not even talk about the long watches in the hospice before she died. I was inconsolable. Bereft. I still am. Also, with horrible irony, in same week, was the first anniversary of my mother's death. I miss her. I keep wanting to phone her. Death would be easier to deal with if it didn't cut off Internet access.
As well as all this......there have been changes in my relationship status.......changes which are not bad.....but still hard.....I can't quite talk about this properly. Suffice to say I am sad on yet another count....maybe I will write later when I have worked out how to do that.....but anyway.
Life? About 3 out of 10 at moment,
Though there HAVE been good bits.
Lovely son came with to the funeral. It was amazing and touching. Black horses. Glass carriage. I have a pic....will try and add later.
Lovely lunch with new Twitter friend who encouraged me to buy delightful I Pad. That was really nice.
Buying the I Pad the next day....with another
Twitter friend, after lunch....
Hearing that a very dear blogger friend, whom I am going to actually MEET next week, after years, saw her daughter grade to her first belt in karate today...
All of these things have kept me from despair.
Though my heart still hurts....
Quite a lot.....