After my last rather dreary post, I decided I should wait till January was over before writing again, but here I am after all, with one day still to go. The sun is shining and it is bitterly cold outside. A lovely day. Despite a bad start, when my car door jammed on open and I had to call the AA out to fix it, missing training as a result, I am feeling quite relaxed and cheerful today. In fact it has been quite a nice week really.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon with B's three year old son, while he went off to play football. It was curiously relaxing. Mostly he watched Teletubbies while playing with duplo. Mostly I sat on the sofa half watching him, half reading a book. He is disturbingly like his father at times when it comes to communicating. When he was younger I spent a lot more time with him, and B used to bring him to stay with me a lot. In the last year or so, I have not seen nearly so much of him, with B tending to spend the weekends when he looks after his son at his mum's house. B's mum I mean. I have missed him. Not the waking up several times a night and having to get up at six in the morning bit, but just the sheer pleasure of having a small child in my life. And he, MiniB, enjoyed himself too. Maybe we can get back to spending more regular time together. I would like that.
It's complicated, because my relationship with B is complicated. I is hard to know how involved I should be in his child's life. It feels important that I don't get over involved, and then drop out of his life at some stage when B and I finally give up on each other.
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Happy February! It's started well - beautifully bright and sunny. I certainly feel jollier.
ReplyDeleteI don't know re the baby. I think any positive influences on a child's life, even if they are not something that lasts forever, are a good thing. I wouldn't worry about the fact that you might not always be in their lives (none of us know how long we'll be around) - just enjoy him and let him enjoy the time with you. Sounds like a winner all round to me.
Although I don't share your love of children's TV! It makes me want to cry.
No words of advice for you re MiniB, because I don't have to deal with that situation (PG has no children). He, on the other hand, deals extremely well with DD - but then, he's been in our lives for 7 or 8 years now, since she was 13 or 14, so that wouldn't help you much either.
ReplyDeleteBut really, if you and the little guy enjoy each other's company and B is fine with it, whyever not? As Gina notes, sounds like a winner all round!